


Of Beasts and Dumb Teenagers

by Meraus



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Top notes tell you what you needa know, a select few of these might even be viewed as full fics if you have low standarts, except for the Kate one, sometimes not but i dont think any of them are really triggery?, that one /implies/ stuff, unfinished works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:53:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 11,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4531458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meraus/pseuds/Meraus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm just gonna leave all my little writings things here, because I love them but never finish them and I feel the need to share. I have siblings, sharing's become a habit.</p><p>Some are in story form, some aren't, some are both, enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fairy Tale AU

**Author's Note:**

> I went to write a dumb little fairy tale for shits n giggles, but then it turned into a TW AU because I'm not over Derek leaving. I'm very bitter, enjoy.
> 
> [Fairy tale AU, Derek as the Big Bad Wolf, Skittles (as a duo, no pairings in this one sorry) coming after him to learn about the ways of the wolf.]

Now, some people may tell you tales of big hearts. 

Usually, they say the bigger a person's heart is, the more good resides within.

This, as you may have noticed, is a lie.

For a heart can grow big out of many things. Some are, indeed, joyous little things, qualities to strive for, but not all, not for the beast.

As was fact for the beast, the world was cruel and the men that walked it even more so. As he grew in days, months and years, his heart grew in darkness. If it were not for the horrific sloshing of blood and beating of it that would keep him up past nightfall, the beast himself might even think he had none at all.

Gladly, he was aware, more so than the town down below. They rumored him heartless, their gossip to far spread and so loud to his ears that he caught on.

While the person that told you about a heart's size might have meant good, the townsfolk down below had no such good intentions. 

Usually, they were kind and would not mean you any harm. Usually, the people they dealt with didn't have fur growing over their skin. Usually, they'd have 32 stump little teeth, instead of an uncountable, sharp mess that made it hard to talk. Moreover, usually, they didn't grow tails and claws.

A beast, they called him. not even bothering to think if the sentient creature had a name. Although, he couldn't fault them too much on the matter when he himself wasn't entirely sure about his name. He'd found it written amongst his belongings, a letter made out from a sister to her brother. ''Dear Derek,'' in black ink.

It was what he called himself since the letter's discovery. It sounded right, familiar. He'd claimed it as his own, not that the townspeople would know.

So, as one does when feared by their community, our beast hid in the forest, at the foot of the mountain. Faintly aware of his own humanity, although not by a lot, he'd built himself a little home, just big enough to fit.

As the beast was one not to be disturbed, the footsteps drawing closer irked him to no end. There were two of them, four little feet accounted for and male, judging by their voices. Did they forget who resided this deep into the trees? The beast was aware and sure of his own tales, he knew them by heart, nearly all variations.

''Deep down in the forest below the oak tree, there lives one you do not wish to see.''

The words taunted him, spoken as casually as they were by one of the men.

''I'm telling you, Scott, this has to be it.''

The beast became aware that they did know the tales, did receive the warnings. They were here because they did.  
He'd groan in displeasure, if that would not immediately get him found out.

''I don't know, Stiles. I mean, the stories are made for a reason. If this thing is really as mean as everyone says it is, don't you think we should, oh I don't know, not go out after it? It might be dangerous.''

Yes, good. Keep away.

''You know what you sound like right now, Scotty? A quitter. And do you know what happens to quitters? Their nails grow into claws and the little snubs on their butts grow into full out tails.''

Oh, the beast thought. That's why they're here. He knew he shouldn't, knew they'd run away in fear once they saw him, but if there was one thing our frightening beast could not ignore, it was a cry for help.

No reason for a less than dramatic entrance, though.

''A beast the size of the tree itself,'' He continued the tale, a low grumble filling the forest with his words, just clearly enough spoken to be understood.

''Once it gets you, you won't last.'' With the last word he launched himself out of the shadows and right in front of the two boys.

As he thought, they immediately turned to run. Well, one of them did, but he was restrained by a hand gripping his arm. The one still standing curiously looked up at him, taking him in, assessing him. 

''No way, Stiles. This was your idea, you're not leaving me on my own.'' He ordered, still keeping him eyes firmly locked on the beast.

''But there's less chance he'll eat you! You two share a thing! I, on the other hand, have more in common with dinner!'' 

While protesting, the other boy had made no move to run again. That is, until the beast lets out a rumble at the word dinner, followed by a few hungry smacking noises. The high-pitched 'Eep!' the boy let out was just as satisfying as Derek thought it would be.

''He won't eat us, look at him, he hasn't moved a muscle since jumping out!''

Derek nodded him head up and down in agreement, the won't eat them. He faintly remembers the human flesh he passed by once, a curious lick was enough to tell it tasted awful.

''Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm turning now, turning, turn- wow.''

The boy's eyes blew wide and his mouth hung open as he slowly took in the beast's 10ft tall being.

''I know, right? It looks cool, kinda like a-''

''Wolf. Yes! I knew it! It was totally a werewolf and you now have a teacher in the ways of wolf hood, maybe even a lead of finding a cure. You're welcome.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	2. Time Travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love time travel, so, so much. This one's a bit.. idk angsty-ish, I guess? Not really, though.

Werewolf Stiles Time Travel AU

Aight so stiles gets bitten during a fight with another wolf pack on their territory and it just so happened to be an alpha that got to him.  
For a few second, everything seemed brighter, more intense, but then it faltered and everything crashed down around him. he started coughing, not even surprised to find black goo dripping from his mouth. He'd never wanted to be a werewolf, knew it wasn't for him, just as his mother lived as she was, despite having the magic ability to heal herself, he would too. This confirms it.

He's dying, he knows this, he can feel it in every viber of his being and it /hurts/, but if Gerard can live through it, with it, so can he.  
There has to be some sort of time-stretching cure, something to keep him afloat. He almost feels like he's cheating, bending the rules, like this is the chemo to his cancer, but he takes it. He takes every last second he can get.

He pulls his shit together and starts to look for a way to cure himself, but he never had a natural knack for chemistry, Lydia was god knows where and he really only saw the one option he could pull off; time travel.

If he just stopped it from happening, it'd be okay.  
And really, if he was going for it, he wasn't going to half ass it. 

Stopping gerard from being born seemed a bit extreme, and he hadn't the slightest clue how to even pull that off, but there was one thing he could do, that would stop this entire shit house from falling down around them; stop Kate, stop the Hale fire from happening.

But then scott's there, telling him he can't, they can fix this, he's not strong enough and ultimately, if he's really going to do it, he's coming along.

 

Sure, being a werewolf made you better at nearly anything than a regular human being. Stiles thoughts were more clear, organized, instantly healed. The world looked brighter, his future would be brighter, and yet he couldn't stop the tears from coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	3. Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pining AU! Heck yeah. Derek's kinda weirdly obsessive and Stiles abuses this fact for personal entertainment.

Depends On How You Define It (No Derek, The Moment You Hit 'S' In Your Search Bar And It Automatically Fills In Stiles' Social Media, You Have A Problem.)

Derek's sisters know he has a problem. They love him with or without it.  
Stiles is also very aware of this problem. He doesn't.

okay i know this has been done millions of times before but i want to write the obvious pining to oblivious love interest thing

but like, hardcore

like derek has issues with the concept of stalking and stiles always has something witty to say in retort to derek staring at him creepily/angrily, in order to get him to stop but derek's heart just kind of flutters and his staring intensifies tenfold.  
and well, at first stiles can't stand the guy and wishes he'd just go away.

but then it becomes a game

like, stiles has made peace with the fact that this is now his life and he just sort of uses it to his own advantage.  
it starts of innocently, really, just to show scott that by simply existing too obviously, he can make derek even more intense.  
and then it becomes a party trick  
and then it becomes a way to get people at clubs to take his hands off him by proclaiming his ''boyfriend'' wouldn't like tha very much

but derek has super hearing and his heart just stops when he hears stiles call him his boyfriend. and because derek is not normal he now thinks he and stiles are dating so he begrudgingly asks laura for dating advice  
and then the internet because laura is annoying

''I don't like him.''  
''You don't like anyone at first. The only reason we became friends is because I told you 'that's not very batman of you' when you pushed me off the slide.''  
''At the time, you deserved it. Also, not true. May I remind you of the existence of one Lydia Martin.''  
Whilst scott was still trying to come up with a reply for that one, stiles set out to get them more drinks.  
Derek, obviously, overhears and waits for his moment to shine, for stiles to fuck up. It doesn't take very long.

''Thats not very batman of you.''  
Stiles couldn't even really fantom and answer to that. Instead, he just squinted his eyes and let his mouth drop in what he hopes described the perfect combination of 'how dare you' and 'what the hell?'  
''It is, actually. Ever read issue#? Yeah.''  
(idk what he does so idk the issue it appears in work w me here)

And okay, maybe the dude was burning hot and trying to flirt, but really, stiles didn't need to get with someone who started shit without having the knowledge to back them up.  
It's safe to say Derek fled. Whatever. Knowing him, Stiles could count on him being back tomorrow.

''Okay. derek. Let me get this straight;'' cora started. laura was already laughing to hard just hearing the jest of the story, so his younger sister took over this horrible investigation bordering on intervention.

''You finally built up the nerve to go talk to the guy and you critique him, not only whilst comparing him to what you describe as his favorite comic book character, but also using the exact same line you heard his best friend drop while you were stalking him. And you thought this would work, because?''

''I know'' he groaned ''Scott said it was what made them become friends.''

''Also, I'm not stalking him. I just needed something to start a conversation with.''

Laura finally stopped laughing enough to get a reply out.  
''Der, The moment you hit 'S' in your Search Bar and it automatically fills in Stiles' Facebook Page, you have a Problem. A stalking problem.''

really, he was going to open with something else. maybe a direct quote from the notebook. stiles had said he'd watched that one more than any human being should, courtesy of lydia martin, and that would mean he'd instantly recognize the line and its romantic meaning behind it, right? but he panicked in the last moment, maybe getting right to the romantic part was too soon, maybe he should try for friends first and built up from there.

derek knows perfectly well that what he's doing isn't healthy, or even legal per se.  
but stiles talked a lot about lydia martin and maybe, just maybe, if derek could be more like her, stiles might notice him too.  
so he starts /technically/ stalking her, although he prefers to call it 'observing'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	4. Fighting over Scott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really, really short but imagine how great it would be!

the one where scott just wants to help sick puppies and go on dates with allison

alright so derek and stiles both want scott time for different reasons like, derek wants scott to join his pack and stiles needs scott to help him beat the boss in a game or smth so they fight over him all the time and its sorta like a love triangle??

but then scott leaves them to fight it out and they realize they were only fighting bc they wanted to impress each other and they're like fuck  
and then they actually fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	5. Derek is Mary Sue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek is too perfect in this potential fic and it bothers Stiles a lot

derek is pissing stiles off. the guy is too perfect, theres no way in all nine circles of hell that derek hale is actually that perfect and stiles is going to find out what his flaw is.

maybe he's a robot  
or an alien  
or something extra torrestial 

he might go about it as a total creeper

(''Ha! I found your flaw!'' stiles swings his arm forward, pointing at derek and nearly smacking him in the face if it weren't for his werewolf (werewolf!) reflexes.  
Derek pulled the face that Stiles titled the 'hoe don't' face.  
''You probably shed!''  
as if let in on stiles thoughts, derek's face shifts and drops the ''oh my god'')

basically the good old curious stilinski who hates/dislikes and doesn't trust anyone who's name isn't scott mccall.

OR

Where Stiles and Derek are roughly the same age and Derek will be the new Alpha but then this Stilinski kid with the weird name showed up and he couldn't be further away from worrying about that.

so stiles moves into a new town with his dad, for his new job as the Beacon County Sheriff, which would be fine if not for the fact that the whole freaking town appears to have a derek hale sized boner.

seriously. its all he hears all day. sometimes the hales in general, but mostly just derek.

and its not just teenage girls in his class with a crush on the hale kid, oh no. the mayor actually has a picture of derek hanging in her house. and stiles is pretty sure it was a mug shot. Which would be okay if they were related or close or whatever, but he's been informed that, no. They're not. Maybe the Hale kid nods at her every once in a while when they pass by each other.

Seriously, it's weird as hell.

But, of course, he can overlook that, too. The Derek Hale sized boner he could live with having rammed down his every hole all day long,   
it's the fact that on his first day in town, he meets the perfect replacement for Jackson. And by perfect, he means he snottiest, jock headed, most irritating, macho, kind of good looking, snob rich kid in an expensive car his parents bought him. The kid was a jackass, and just like Jackson, no amount of good looks can hide that ugly personality.

But, not all is terrible. He meets Scott on his first day of school, and they hit it off right away. Scott is everything you could ask for in a best friend, except that he's a little bit slow on some things, also has a derek hale boner (he's actually dereks close friend, if stiles should believe scotts words. which he does without question out of best friend duty, also, scott looks like he couldnt lie if his life depended on it..) oh, and he talks about his girlfriend, allison argent, a /lot/. ah young love, young, slightly annoying, no scott i don't want to know about allison's new hair product, beautiful love.

Then, through allison, he meets the only person in town who actually seem to not have the hale boner going on. Her dad, Chris Argent. For this alone, he could be Stiles' best friend, if it weren't for Scott, and that Chris is kind of old and also maybe scares him a lot but he's never going to admit that. out loud at least. terrified whines do not count.

so, he's settled in pretty well, he believes. He's got a frenemy, one lydia martin who he actually already knew, seeing as they went to the same preschool, a new best friend, regular friends, acquaintances and a new jackson figure in his life that he can now completely bash on together with scott. Only it apparently doesn't work out like that in practice, because jackson no.2 is actually Derek Hale, the Derek Hale from the town wide boner, and scott likes him. and because scott likes him and stiles likes scott they end up around a lunch table with the whole clique.

thats okay, stiles can totally dig scott not sharing one of his dislikes, its a quality he possesses as a best friend to look past that. that doesn't stop him from endlessly bantering back and forth with the hale kid, though.

they become reluctant hate friends.  
and then reluctant lab partners.  
and then stiles reluctantly joins the hales for dinner.  
and then becomes not so reluctant fuck buddies because angry hate sex kind of works out for him apparently.  
and then cuddling.  
and suddenly he kind of wants to get fucked in all holes by the Derek Hale boner.  
And somewhere along the line Derek tells him they're mates, and the whole town joins in on the word and stiles thinks it's just their word for 'friends', like with australians.  
he couldn't be more wrong.

and of course stiles goes along with the mate word, and derek gets this glint in his eyes every time he says it to him, but stiles starts using it for all his friends because he thinks thats a thing they do and derek gets all angry eyebrowed and they're right back where they started only the banter is solely on stiles' part now and derek wants to get away but can't because they're mates and he can't be away from stiles because it hurts and stiles has no idea and holy shit derek hale are you experiencing man pain? or at least teenaged/adolescent hormone induced pain?

and then stiles gets let in on the whole werewolf thing by scott and everything just clicks and holy shit thats what 'mates' meant. 

wow, that really does explain a lot. and also why the DH boner infected kids at school were giving him nasty looks a lot and why the girl from the coffee shop spits in his drink in plain sight.

and it also kind of explains why derek and isaac had that fight after stiles admitted he thought isaac looked hella fine in a cute sort of way. and maybe why isaac never wore those pants that /really/ flattered his ass ever again. in fact, stiles is pretty sure that's the thing he saw burning in the Lahey's backyard and week back.

so, apparently he's mated to the town's aspiring alpha without knowing, but he can deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	6. Robbing The Same House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They rob people separately but accidentally rob the same house a lot

or, Thick as Thiefs

so stiles breaks into finstocks house right  
for totally legit reasons  
like giving back the things he stole last week  
which he stole for other totally legit reasons

and derek  
well derek has totally legit werewolf business there  
like stealing the ancient artifact finstock bought at a yard sale  
(ffs, only Finstock is2g)

and of course stiles just comes out of the bathroom where he climbed in  
walking straight into the room where derek is currently trying to open the locked drawers  
and they both have this moment where they asses the situation  
just looking at each other for a few minutes  
stiles can't really think but hey any excuse would really stick bc lets be real its Finstock  
''I'm his gay underage lover''  
''im… no you're not.''  
''no. I'm not. i don't know why i said that. that was weird.''  
''it was.''  
…  
''so. i see you're trying to break open that drawer.'' stiles muses  
''yeah.''  
bc derek already figured out stiles was there for less legitimate business too  
stiles tosses him the keys of course and goes to do his business  
bc hey, he's gonna get what he came here for and he might as well help a bro out  
so they do what they came to do and both leave  
thats it

until it isn't

and they just keep running into each other while B&E'ing 

(also somewhere along the line derek wolfs out while stiles is there during the robbing and stiles is like ''so that just happened.'', shrugs and climbs out the window. Like maybe the desk he was pulling something from was wolfsbane laced. damn people and their need for antiques.)

and then one night stiles is just chilling on his bed when derek climbs through the window  
and stiles tells him off for trying to rob his house  
and dereks like ''i didn't come here to steal''  
and kisses him  
and stiles tells him he totaly wasted a chance to be cheesy

\--  
stiles made his way down the stairs, only to come face to face with a real-life actual adonis.  
''You don't live here.''

Is the first thing he said, because, well, he doesn't.  
This is Harris' house and Harris doesn't have family nearby and even if he did, no way any of those genes came from the same pool harris' did. Also Harris isn't nearly rich enough for a high quality, live-in hooker. /And/ the dude is wearing very obvious criminal-clothing.  
Black on black with leather gloves? And is that a crow-bar? Way to be obvious. He doesn't live here.

The guy stares back for a few seconds before settling on ''You don't either.''  
And now, that's just rude. Stiles could live here. This house is very much like his, next to being emptier, duller and creepier with less homely touches.

''I totally do.'' He defends himself  
''No, you don't.''  
''I just came from upstairs, I'm wearing pajama bottoms for christ's sake. /I/ have totally legit reasons for being here'' at least that's not a lie ''You, on the other hand; Implying clothing; came through the window if the cracked state it's in has anything to say, /the freaking crowbar/. You broke in.''

The guy rolls his eyes. /Rolls/ them.  
''I know you don't live here, Sheriff's kid. Unless Harris is more of a pervert than his demeanor implies and you're actually his underage boy toy, or hell, maybe you're sucking his dick for better grades,'' Stiles is going to cringe for years remembering that sentence ''I'd say you broke in just as much as I did.''

Well, okay, Stiles obviously isn't going to get the guy to believe him. Plan A; fake it 'till you make it? Doomed to fail.  
Go for broke, then?

''Alright, so I broke in too. What's it to you?''  
''Nothing, really, if you hadn't disturbed me, we wouldn't be having this conversation.''  
''Hey, I could have you arrested, you know that right?''  
''And then you'd have to explain being in your teacher's house in the dead of night. Nice try, kid.''  
(''I could kill you on the spot and stick it on Harris, you know that, right?'' idk maybe he uses intimidation tactic, he could probably, he probably knows how cops investigate, how to go around it.)

Now, that was just uncalled for.  
But also very true.  
Stiles huffed and set his shoulders.  
''Fine. Go steal stuff. I'll be over here.''  
''Good.''  
When Stiles came back with the keys to the chemistry room, the guy was gone.  
Well, he could at least blame the missing keys on another intruder now.

\--

''Do you make robbing people's housing a habit?''

''I think we can safely say we both do.''

And well, that's true.

\--

Stiles climbs into the already broken open window and semi-glares at Derek.

''I'm planning on breaking into Miss -'s house next.''

''Good for you.''

''All I'm saying is; we run into each other so much during these, we might as well plan them together.''

\--

''So, you ever return anything?''

Before Derek can even speak, Stiles goes on.

''Ha! No you don't. I know you don't because I do and therefore not worrying and overworking my dad and the entire department. You, on the other hand? Not so much.''

''They shouldn't have these in their possession to start with.''

''You could at least leave replicas or something. Seriously, if my dad misses one more dinner, I /will/ beat your ass. Freaky werewolf power or not.'' 

Derek is sort of shocked and Stiles gives him a smug expression and eyebrow tilt to communicate the 'Yeah, figured you out. Dare lie to me' fully and continues.  
''I don't feel like putting effort into one more cooked meal only to have my dad need to microwave it later.''

And Derek starts leaving replicas. Tells himself it's definitely not because he feels bad about it for Stiles' sake. Because that's just not true. It's definitely because it makes the risk smaller.  
Except that's not entirely true either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	7. Force Shifting (cutely, though)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is based on a myth I saw somewhere on tumblr and just...

Okay so I saw a thingy on Tumblr that was already tagged with 'draw a sterek version' but it needs so much more love like.  
Basically, it's the myth where if someone who truly loved and trusted the werewolf called it's name if would shift back to human.

or you throw clothes at it.

 

where derek gets stuck in his full wolf form and the pack is freaking out and derek told them he'd go feral if he remained like that for too long some time ago  
and stiles just flippantly drops his hoodie on derek like he's a coat rack an *poof* instant naked -very attractive-, distinctively human-shaped werewolf.  
and the pack in like ''wth how'' and stiles is like ''true love, obviously.''

and then as an extra scott gets stuck and stiles throws a sock at him and scott is there like ''although I'm very tempted to make a harry potter joke and roll with it, is there something you need tell me man?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	8. Harry Potter AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs HP AUs. This is common knowledge, it's taught in schools and survival classes and everything.

Okay so, Stiles is a wizard, studying wizardry.  
He entered for the deadliest school game ever.  
It was horrible.  
But hey, at least there were sexy shirtless werewolves.

Derek got picked out to enter some dumb contest he didn't want to do.  
By the school he didn't want to go to.  
A school for ''mystical beasts''.  
But then there was some stupid, annoying wizard brat and it somehow became less bad.  
(make ALL the MBAWTFT puns)

so basically they both get selected and play against each other but somehow, along the way, they kinda play w/ each other?  
figuratively and literally. 

 

COULD ALSO BE;

theres a dumb cup game thing going on and Derek had to be there because his elder sis got selected but while ''cheering'' for her  
(which was totally not pretty much hoping she wouldn't die, who even allows this bs)  
he sees this wizard boy and they make eye contact and talk or whatever

so, scott got selected for the super dangerous wizard game.  
scott.  
asthmatic, spacey, naive scott.  
this wasn't going to end well.  
so, as a best bro, stiles was going to help him the fuck out any way he could; getting himself into danger in the process.  
but all was cool bc apparently his guardian angel comes in werewolf watchdog size.  
its all cool.

stiles and derek are always in the line of fire and its like beautiful perfection

also, deffo make a scene w the underwater thing and have derek be laura's mip, and stiles scott's and then instead of laura and scott saving them, they save each other and some girl that was hanging from another line bc hey, why not? spread the love and all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	9. Derek Is A Bad Salesman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where I lowkey warn you about things that just may happen/present you with ways to get dates maybe

Derek sells something online, with pictures attached. only the thing he's selling is reflective and he comes up on the picture too and now derek needs to fight off the 'potential buyers' who are actually only there to get into his pants.  
And you know what? No. He doesn't even need to sell the thing that badly and instead of thinking logically and making another pic (or maybe he failed every time he tried to not get in it), he just takes the entire ad down.

Stiles shows up a day later, grinning and holding out his hand.

''Hi, I'm Stiles. Congrats on the abs, though next time you might want to put a shirt on.''

And fina-fucking-ly, someone who might actually be here for the thing and not to try and get into derek's pants. Only Derek kind of wants Stiles to want to get into his pants. Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	10. Love Spells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is very evil and should have done more research. Derek is overall very bothered and Stiles doesn't know why.

The one where Kate fucks everything up for everyone, like usual.  
Alternatively: Lydia Martin’s Guide For The Latin-ly Challenged.  
Learn Some Fucking Latin.

 

A line for Kate at some point probably: ‘’Oh my, Derek. I would’ve never taken you for such a pervert, how old is he? 15? Well, I guess once you teach a dog a trick…’’ (I mean, come on. That’s a good line. I think it is.)

Okay, so Kate gets her hands on a love potion in the time she was with derek, circa his 16/17th birthday. she thought it'd make derek fall madly and truly in love with her, allowing her to steal the family riches, but no.

that shit was straight up disney potion. 

Instead of loving a sight he laid eyes upon, as Kate thought it had read, he lays eyes upon a sight he truly loves. Meaning, there are dreams. Or more like flashback memories that he doesn't have yet of Stiles.

So, Kate goes batshit bananas because she's so close to losing Derek and therefore millions of bucks because the kid can't stop dreaming of his one true love and starts losing interest in Kate. It happens, and as revenge (see; tantrum outbursts), Kate burns down his home with his family inside. (Okay, so thats some p wicked shit for a tantrum outburst but kate is on the slightly a lot more morbid and psychotic side of mentally five years old)

So when Derek finally meets Stiles, he hates him. This is the kid that ultimately got his whole family killed, everyone he loved. he knows it's not true, Stiles didn't do that, Kate did, but it's easier to blame Stiles than himself. Only he can't really hate Stiles. At all.

He's gonna try, though.

But every time he pushes the kid against a wall and gets in his face with the excuse of threatening him, or every time he climbs into his room with an excuse he mostly made up the moment he reached the window, he feels himself falter. 

And then there's still the dreams.

He's so glad his wolves can't read different meanings behind smells, sounds and heartbeats yet. But even then, it's glaringly obvious and even Scott notices.

So really, everyone knows except for Stiles who's too busy noticing other things, like how good Derek looks, or how he's too much of a mix of proud and weird to admit he gets and throws out pop references, or how his humor is so dry you have to squint to notice it.

\--------  
\----

Kate has done a lot of hypocritical and morally wrong things.  
Here’s the thing, though: morally right doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right thing to do, and well, letting a bunch of dangerous creatures live? That’s not the right thing to do, in any situation.  
Chris would frown at her, get in the way, so she neglects to tell him, but their father approves, so she sucks it up, kills the hag, steals her spellbook and gets to work.

Love magic is a tricky one, especially for humans. For an ordinary human, manipulating emotion should be nigh impossible, but she’ll be okay. It’s also nigh impossible for an ordinary human to kill an entire coven of witches and she’d done that just last week.

This spell in an easy one, really. Cast it on someone and they’ll become obsessed with you, steer it in the right direction and it’ll be perceived as just a romantic interest. Manipulate that to get all the information you want and that’s it. Easy.

She might have overestimated her own ability, though, when Derek suddenly starts telling her about this kid he’s been having dreams about. She can sense him losing interest in her and it infuriates her. Derek’s not dumb, he’ll figure her out sooner rather than later, especially the way things are playing out now.

Maybe the entire household won’t draw the short stick, maybe some will live. Some is still a whole lot better than all.

She burns them down.

\--

Four lived. Two, if you don’t count the soon to die of injury and missing one.

Derek looks beat, sitting in a hospital chair, waiting for the hospital staff to come out and tell him his uncle didn’t make it. She knows Laura won’t be here for hours, being held up at the police station, she checked.

With everything once again going for her, she walks up and takes place next to him. He doesn’t look up, but she knows he can tell she’s there.

‘’What a tragedy.’’ She starts. ‘’I mean, they were supposed to all die, but I guess 7 out of 11 isn’t too bad.’’

He does look up at that, but before he can even get a shocked word out of his mouth, she cuts him off.

‘’Really Derek, the pain your sister is going through, it’s all you fault. All you were supposed to do is get a little love drunk off a spell and tell me what I needed to know. You could have all died with your family and wouldn’t need to experience the pain of loss.’’

She knows sharing her plan is very cliché villain, but she figured, maybe if the kid goes rogue of grief and guilt, she’d have and easy excuse for killing the remaining too. At least she does the speech after her plan semi-succeeded.

‘’Now you’ve left Laura to deal with everything, your uncle on the brink of death, your little sister missing. Cora, right? Last you told me, you weren’t even sure if she were a shifter. She’ll probably die out in the woods, all alone.’’

She notices how his eyes are glowing that killer bright blue. It’s beautifully endearing.

‘’And all because you couldn’t stop thinking about some stupid boy. I don’t know how the spell backfired. Too much toad? Not enough mountain ash? Maybe I mispronounced the latin or used the wrong spell. Ah, that’s probably it. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it. And then you suddenly couldn’t stop dreaming of wrapping your head around something else. What a shame.’’

There goes the chair handles.

‘’Well, I should get out of town, before anyone starts asking questions. It’s been a blast, Der-bear.’’

She pets his leg as he fights to keep control. That he’s still able to won’t do.

‘’Guess I won’t need this anymore. Maybe there’s some spells in there for raising the dead?’’

She adds, as if it were an afterthought, throwing the spellbook in Derek’s lap. She has copies.

As she walks out, she hears the sweet sound of a choked off howl. All she has to do is wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	11. Magical Sims Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Peter

the one in which peter hale is about as evil as a teenage fangirl (which is to say, still as evil, just a lot less dangerous) and just as vengeful.

Despite contrary evidence, peter hale did /not/ appreciate being murdered multiple times. or at all. so, with a grudge to make samara? (? or was that the ring? probably.)(sadako? sadoko?) (KAYAKO. THATS HER NAME.) seem like an angsty melodramatic teenager, he hatched a plan of revenge.

now, really, it wasn't even so bad. no one dies, even. hopefully. all he did was hit up an old wizard friend who dealt in miscelantiounos curses, in which there really does lie beautiful irony.

so thats how he ended up with a cursed version of the sims and a select view beacon hills residents to play with.

the wasn't even anything illegal about it, which means there were no laws in place against it, unless one got creative with definitions. He even paid for the extension packs, all of them, because peter hale deals big if anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, take it and do something with it if you want, please do tell me, though, because I wanna read it.


	12. Derek Wants To Kill Stiles 24/7 (but not really)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This should make for an adorable fic, really.

okay so i read this post on why you want to squeeze anything that looks cute and its because its human nature to want to kill it and what if derek is all upset like no scott i can't be around your friend bc i want to kill him 24/7 but in all actually he just wants to squish that pretty face with his

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take it, do it, tell me, ilu.


	13. Crazy Sexual Tension (Also Love Spells, kinda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there's curses involved but really it's all for the best.

the crazy sexual tension au where everyone is aware and unwilling to let it continue

literally everyone  
especially the people involved

stiles and derek know they have a case of serious sexual tension okay  
they're aware  
and they hate it  
they hate each other, more like

stiles, hes obnoxious really  
too loud  
no filter  
rude  
gorgeous

and derek  
always pissed off  
/very/ rude  
violent  
stoic  
and so so beautiful

so yeah, they don't click.  
they don't want anything to do with each other  
but whenever they're in the same space they just can't help it

ugh i talked myself out of it so what about

the hales and stilinskis have a curse on them  
it was supposed to be a good spell, really  
centuries ago, their grand-whatevers were in true love or whatever  
and being supernatural beings  
they had a binding ceremony, with a binding spell  
only oops spell gone wrong  
it didn't just affect the two people of the ceremony, oh no, it involved every member of the lines ever  
to exist and to come  
so they made a deal to move away from each other and that should have solved it

until it was nearly forgotten  
and the hales practically died out  
and derek doesn't know shit about the spell really  
so him and stiles now have awkward sexual tension forever and deaton knows this but he's not gonna tell  
i mean come on its deaton he never tells

and well they have sex a lot  
they don't know where or how it started   
but as soon as they were left   
just the two of them  
they couldn't keep their hands off each other

and derek, being a supernatural creature  
asks deaton about a ceremony for him and stiles  
and deaton lets it slip  
and shit happens

OR

they're in high school together and theres constant sexual tension and really the locker room might as well be their motel by now  
and dereks family, alive and well, finds out  
and they're like ''oh hon''  
and tell derek  
who tells stiles  
who's like ''ur shitting me, dude theres better ways to lay a guy off''  
and derek insist o proving it to him  
taking him to his family  
only, well, the curse effects everyone  
so all the hales flip the fuck out  
going all wolf mode on each other  
only talia keeps it kinda cool. kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take this if you want to, but tell me because I want to read it. Ilu


	14. Stiles Stilinki: Why Your House Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles doesn't like letting people down. He gives them bullshit excuses, instead.

the 'your house isn't good enough' fic

so stiles right  
he's finally getting some on a regular basis  
from many different people  
many different times  
in many different positions  
only the thing is  
he's horrible at rejecting people

so really,   
its more the  
''horrible excuses fic''

he always panics and says the first thing he can think of  
mostly its house related because he never goes to his own house

''listen man, i can't date someone who's actually /comfortable/ living in this architects nightmare. i mean, ffs, look at where your light switch is located. that is in no way a well thought through, practical decision. if someone were to rob you, they'd have enough time to sneak out the window with all your belongings in the time it took you just to reach it. so I'm sorry, but i just can't date a guy like that.''

so he keeps doing this to many different people  
many different times  
so much actually that it kind of became a thing on campus  
the ''is your house good enough for stillinski'' bet

and along comes derek hale  
who stiles sleeps with  
and whose house he leaves before the owner even wakes up to avoid another round of 'on the spot made up excuses'

but then derek corners him one day when he's with scott  
and stiles tells him his door handles weren't screwed in right  
and dereks like ''yeah i just moved in last week I'm having everything fixed, come check it out.''

and truth is, stiles /wants/ to check it out  
or more like check derek out  
so he goes again  
leaves before derek wakes up again  
and derek corners him again  
and he tells him his water pressure is off  
and derek tells him he got that fixed too  
so stiles goes again

and he leaves again  
gets cornered again  
tells him the table was uneven  
derek tells him he threw it out and got a new one  
he leaves at dawn, missing one sock

so this time derek corners him he has a list  
of everything he's fixing in the house  
tells stiles to come over and find anything else he still needs to work on  
and really, stiles knows he shouldn't  
the three times pattern he knows too well  
but his dick betrays him

and derek in the mean time  
he has issues  
because yeah he's fixing up the house  
but right now its more like he's building a den with stiles  
who's recommending him companies and things to fix and places to buy new furniture and tells him which colours would match  
and his wolf is craving  
and hes in too deep

and they kind of keep doing it  
so much actually that everybody else notices  
and derek wins the bet  
he doesn't know why he's suddenly being handed money by everyone he encounters  
but hey, college is expensive and who is he to decline free dough

and stiles catches on  
and wow derek  
you have your money now good for you  
but I'm done  
so he starts avoiding derek like the plague  
and derek is there not knowing what he did wrong

but they work it out

and then one day  
derek wakes up  
and theres stiles  
awake, but still in his arms, body wrapped around him, in and exhaling into his neck  
and the first thing he tells derek on that first morning together  
''your curtains have holes in them.''  
and derek responds  
''wanna go to ikea and pick new ones?''  
and stiles says yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	15. Derek the Dirt Bike Instructor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which derek is a dirt bike instructor and stiles knows way too many dick jokes for it to be considered healthy.

Okay so Scott found out that Allison sometimes rides dirt bikes and he totally has to do that now too because everything allison does is obvi the best thing ever.  
so, he drags stiles along bc thats the fate of a best friend

well now they're there and their instructor just has the whole dirt-bike look down and holy god is he fine

stiles makes a joke about being a natural at 'riding' for which he gets a jab to the ribs from Scott but derek doesn't even get it bc he's dense like that

then later when stiles falls off his bike for the fucktonth time that lesson derek's all like ''i thought u said u were a natural?'' and stiles is all like ''well i am but bikes aren't exactly my field of expertise''

and then derek does get it because he's the 1% that needs to have the dirty joke explained because his mind just doesn't go places  
but since he's oh so focused and a one-way mind kind of guy he now can't stop thinking about it?  
and thats weird because now when he slides into his seat he imagines what it would be like to slide into stiles  
and he watches stiles ride his bike just a little too closely  
so obvi they have dirty, dirty sex in derek's locker room  
and stiles didn't lie, he really is a natural

if only he could keep that balance on his bike and their second lesson might be success

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	16. Bad Bribery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Stiles romances Derek with shaken milk.

''You bought me a milkshake?''

''No I didn't, I bought it for myself but just as the girl hands it to me I suddenly remember I'm lactose intolerant, but just handing it back would be dickish move so I'm giving it to you.''

''Why are there two, then?''

''Oh yeah, the strangest thing happened, like, just as I was muttering about forgetting I was lactose intolerant the dude behind me is suddenly like 'oh fuck I'm lactose intolerant too' and hands me his milkshake, which, rude, that could kill me, what, does he want me dead? you don't kill a man before you even get to know him. wheres the wine and dine?''

he absentmindedly takes a sip of the milkshake

''you just drank from your milkshake.''

''yeah, i wonder why i keep forgetting about that.''

he takes another sip.

''stiles.''

''shut up and take the damn bribe, derek.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	17. Soccer AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're soccer players and everything is as hot off the field as it is on.

FIFA world cup soccer AU

 

Okay so, Derek on the spanish team, Stiles on the polish team 

they meet before the cup starts in their normal clothes trying to get something from a vendor or whatever and theres all this attraction going on  
but derek thinks stiles is a snotty kid and stiles thinks derek is really rude and no pretty face can cover an ugly personality

but then they find out the other is a player from the other team because stiles and scott, who's on the spanish team, knew each other from when he played for Poland (Scott is that star player that gets traded a lot) and of course stiles just casually walks into their hotel to hang with scott and of course the whole team likes him instantly

and they sort of dislike each other but in the way where you want to bite their dick after you're done sucking it  
so thats a problem

Also Stiles makes a lot of pole-based dickjokes bc why not

And then Derek sort of revokes his earlier statement of pretty faces that can't cover ugly personalities because apparently stiles' pretty face covers an ever prettier personality 

-stiles is mostly famous for his quick thinking and strategic play and derek for his strong passes, strong kicks, and ability to never miss 

but then the polish goalie gets his arm broken trying to catch derek's ball and apparently stiles is now in the net and he's good, better than their original goalie, and derek sort of doesn't want to take chances because he knows stiles could catch his kicks and he doesn't want to hurt him

and of course stiles notices and confronts him about it after their practice matches and he's angry and suddenly theres an angry kiss and then there somehow a dick being shoved angrily in stiles (or derek) who takes it fiercely and mercilessly and makes derek promise, just before he comes, on his weakest moment, to not hold back in their actual match and he sticks to the promise.

stiles breaks his left arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	18. Best Bros Being Hunters AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favourite bros are hunters and shit hits the fan.

Of All Our Blue Eyed Monsters (I Like This One Best)

Scott and Stiles are hunters, located in Beacon Hills, because, let's face it, shit goes down here 24/7, holy rest day that is Sunday be damned.

Anyway, there's a rogue werewolf on the loose and of course they go after it. Along the way Scott gets bitten, which wouldn't be so bad -He's been bitten before, Scotty boy can handle a little hands-on, but this is was an Alpha and there is a code to uphold.

So, in this mayor shit storm, they're still supposed to save this woman that was also attacked. She's hurt. Badly. But she can still be saved, if only Stiles would hurry up with his infamous plans of action.

Anyway, they put down the rogue and hurry to the woman laying still on the ground. Her breath comes in little puffs and her eyes are darting to and fro. She's probably scared. Stiles puts his hands up and approaches her slowly.

''Shh, it's okay. It's okay, no fangs, see?'' He bears his teeth. This gets a reaction out of her, at least. Only it's not exactly what they hoped for. She bears her teeth right back at him, only hers come with a set of fangs and glowing red eyes. She collapses.

Scott comes up behind him, hand clutching at the bite mark on his side. ''What do we do now? What's the protocol for this?''

Stiles swallows, closing his eyes, thinking. ''There isn't. No protocol. We're gonna have to deal.''

(only there is a protocol, but stiles isn't sure he's willing to uphold it)

And to make matters worse, their newest Alpha problem comes as a two-for-one package, the other being her ridiculously attractive beta brother who has a thing for threatening to rip Stiles' troath out.

 

''Scott, please tell me 'threatening to kill' is enough reason to put a wolf down, because this is seriously not what I signed up for.''  
And they both know it is, but neither of them are going to act on it. 

''Excuse me, but your little bitchy parade on our house smelling of wolfsbane is exactly this high on our list of problems right now!'' ''If you haven't noticed, my best friend has been bitten by an Alpha, and the code says he has to commit suicide before letting it take him over!''

''the bite is a gift''  
''no, derek, the bite is a death sentence. the bite is our family, best friends, comrades, turning on us. Hell, the bite is Scott turning on /me/! Maybe even me turning on him. You know when that's ever happened before? Never.''

''Protocol would have you all dead.''  
''You mean protocol would have scott dead.''  
''oh, I'm sorry, did you not get the memo? i can in fact care about people who are not scott, even if they're blood thirsty animals.''

''We hunt those who hunt us', thats the code. And unless Scotty boy is feeling like grabbing a me-sized bite, I'm technically not going against code.''

''we help those who need it seems like a better code, until the person you saved kills everyone you care for.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	19. Asshole Parking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asshole parking and misunderstandings.

Okay so like, Stiles just wants some cheetos ok  
hes had a horrible day  
and he fucking looked forward to eating cheetos since he woke up  
he has /cravings/  
so he goes out to the store  
tries to park  
but no  
its full  
every car neatly (or acceptably) placed in a spot  
EXCEPT FOR THIS ASSHOLE  
WHO FELT IT WAS NECESSARY   
SO TAKE UP FOUR FUCKING SPOTS  
WITH HIS DUMBASS CAMARO  
THAT COULDA EASILY FIT IN ONE  
so yeah stiles is hella pissed  
/HELLA/ pissed  
because if he can't park here  
hes gotta pay 5 fucking bucks or w/e for parking on the nearest spot  
and if he does that  
he won't have enough on him for cheetos  
so he grabs the side walk chalk he had in his car for reasons  
fucking goes out there  
and tells the douchebag EXACTLY whats up  
using pretty colours and artistic swipes bc if he needs to own up to it, it should at least be pretty  
so he's out the making the arrows extra pointy  
when suddenly  
FUCKING DEREK GROWLYFACE HALE COMES IN  
and starts yelling at him  
and stiles totally reasonably argues  
bc fuck you derek hale  
you're gonna pay my cheetos  
this is your mess not mine  
you started this and you're gonna end it in a very cheesy way  
(PRO HINT; THE CHEESY BIT IS THE TOTALLY CHEESY MAKE OUT SESH but also the cheetos)  
anyway  
dereks all like 'no'  
bc thats how he rolls  
declining in one syllable and glaring for everything else  
and stiles aint having none of it  
oh no  
hes had to put up with hales shit forever now  
getting groceries to find hale glaring at his picks  
picking out music to find hale snaring at his taste  
TRYING TO ORDER FUCKING TAKE OUT TO HAVE HALE STATE HIS FAVOURITE SUSHI PLACE IS SHIT  
in other words of course but he's paraphrasing  
anyway  
derek is there to judge stiles on everything he does  
and now the tides have turned  
and hes gonna make it sweet  
because derek is in the wrong here and stiles is gonna be up his ass (HA! if only) ((just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he isn't hot like burning)) ((and adorable. and funny when he's trying to do the full sentences things. and capable to uphold an argument with stiles during english lit.)) about it  
and derek can't do shit because stiles curves are extra curvy and his points are /on-point/.  
its beautiful art and hales got nothing to bitch about and stiles is going to enjoy this and make derek pay for his cheetos and rub it in his face /forever/  
it might just be his comeback  
if derek ever judges him again  
''you're an idiot''  
''well at least I'm not an asshole parker.''  
and he's going to make /a face/  
and put his eyebrows overly into it  
he can already imagine  
its going to be beautiful  
and derek?  
well derek had some emergency or whatever  
so he has total legit reasons for parking like that  
if only stiles would shut up  
or keep talking  
damnit hes late  
he has places to be  
but god he loves seeing that mouth move  
hearing that voice  
he even fucking loves the flaily hand gestures  
god, he's got it bad  
but stiles hates him   
derek knows this for sure  
because once he heard stiles order sushi  
and he tried  
mostly accidentally blurted out  
''i know a better place i can take you.''  
but the point is  
he tried asking stiles out  
and stiles sneered at him and told him to mind his own business  
so he's going to enjoy whatever he can

basically they're idiots  
there is a line of cars waiting behind where stiles sloppily parked his jeep even more asshole-y than derek  
and they angry-kiss  
no one knows who ignited it but everyone involved enjoys it  
except for the people waiting for stiles to move his jeep  
they don't give a standing ovation or whatever  
bc they're goddamn pissed  
they just wanna go home  
but no  
these two losers decided to make a scene  
on the cost of everybody else  
they have dinner to make, okay  
srs bsns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	20. Fraternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek leads a fraternity and Scotty's gotta go.
> 
> Or, at least stop hanging around Stilinski 24/7.

Okay so Scott is an Aplha Something Something (ill get to the rest later) legacy, being the younger brother of Derek Hale, their current president. He wants to try out for multiple fraternity's though, so he does and drags Stiles along because he's like /the best/ friend, and doesn't mind making a fool of himself to make scott look better.

and then they don't play that game for the ASS rush (HAHAHA I JUST NOW REALIZED OMFG PERF) and derek kind of wants stiles in his fraternity more than he does his own brother and that can't be good.

So maybe he kind of forces stiles into it and that automatically gets him scott too, which isnt too big of a deal  
except it is  
how is he supposed to romance stiles when his younger brother is always. there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	21. Protect Derek From Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is way too involved in Derek's life and also abuses his dad's power a bit.

there are a lot of unwritten rules and every clique has their own, but there's one unwritten rule everyone knows and follows; Don't date Derek Hale. Don't even attempt dating Derek Hale.

Unless, of course, you're all for being publicly embarrassed and pulled over and sometimes even fined for /every/ little law-conflicting thing you do.

And, if you're young, dumb and extremely horny, so basically, willing to try anyway; Get Stiles Stilinski's approval beforehand.

High school AU where everything is as melodramatic as HS normally is and Derek Hale is everyone's bb to protect from life's hazards.  
Or well, that's what Stiles thinks, and along with that the whole outcast incast clique they have, because madness is shared. 

Derek just wants to be normal and do normal things and make normal mistakes; Stiles will never let him.

(U COULD TOTES MAKES THIS INTO A TIME TRAVEL AU WHERE STILES JUST SHOWS UP ONE DAY LIKE; YO DEREK, U DONT KNOW ME, BUT IM YOUR BEST FRIEND NOW AND ALSO I HEARD THAT GIRL UR INTERESTED IN? YEAH WELL SHE EHH… SHE DRUNK DRIVES. YOU DONT WANT TO END UP WITH A GIRL LIKE THAT. and derek just like who are you even what are you doing no stop it this is my life and i- goddamn wth ok fine whatever just)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	22. Fairy Godfather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is magical and looks good in sparkles. Derek doesn't know how to deal with these things and needs his help.

bibbidi bobbodi boo fairy god-father- AU

Derek is cinderella, stiles is his fairy godmom  
''Fairy god/father/?''  
''Yeah, it's an actual existing gig, look it up.''  
''really the only qualification is if you can rock sparkles or not''

derek just really wants to meet king argent for peace treaty negotiations, instead he gets;  
one sarcastic fairy godfather  
one intimidating princess  
two even worse queens  
and some kid named scott who's only purpose in life seems to be unintentionally making derek look bad  
also his fairy is scotts fairy too for some reason and things get complicated

''magics pretty conditional, you've got the sacrifices, the trades, impostors, time stamps. really, i can't just magic you what you want without it having some unreasonable cost to it. i can, however, magic you what you need in order to get what you want.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	23. What In The World Is Parrish Even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My main bets are ifrit and phoenix but idk.  
> Basically, the one where Stiles investigates the professional investigator and Derek watches from the sidelines and offers commentary. And then actually steps in.

The one where Derek is immensely jealous for no reason

 

‘’Look, I don’t know what he is, either. I was sort of backfiring from the whole being possessed thing? Yeah.’’

Derek is still just sitting there, staring at him. Before all the shit went down, Stiles would’ve thought it was a ‘I don’t care just find out. Now.’ kinda glare, but he knows better now. The way his throat moves in a swallow, how his lips are just the tiniest bit parted and how his eyebrows are scrunched together just tell him that Derek is at a loss of what to say. Hell, he even looks a little guilty. As he should be.

Stiles has enough shit to deal with. Between not-Theo suddenly popping up, feeling like he’s slowly losing Scott and dealing with his personal issues, when, or even why, would he find the time to figure out what Parrish is? Besides, Lydia has taken that job upon herself and Stiles isn’t going to complain about having to do less work.

‘’He could be a threat.’’ Derek tries reasoning. Except that it’s complete bullshit. Stiles tells him as much.

‘’Have you met Parrish? As long as you’re not breaking a law, I’d say you’re fine.’’ Which is also a pretty weak argument, since they break laws all the time, but it’s no worse than assuming Parrish is a bad guy just because his eyes happen to glow sometimes.

‘’Look, for all we know he could just be a giant human-shaped salamander crossbread or whatever. Basically Kanima 2.0: Now fire resistant and kid friendly. Also comes with a much better attitude.’’

Derek is about to open his mouth again, probably just for the sake of arguing, so Stiles goes right on.

‘’But still just as handsome. No downsides and not evil at all. Parrish is a good guy, Derek. Let it go, or don’t come to me about it, Lydia has dibs on this one.’’

Derek makes this tiny, pathetic noise. It’s the noise of having lost an argument and it sounds amazing to Stiles’ ears. Hell, he might even be able to sleep properly tonight. 

‘’Fine. I will ask Lydia.’’

And with that he’s gone again. Stiles sighs. For all the progress they’ve made, Derek is still as stubborn and untrusting and Stiles hasn’t got any more eager to back down either. They can work together, but they mostly still haven’t figured out how to agree on something yet. 

Now he can’t let it go, though. Derek probably has a reason not to trust Parrish. Hell, maybe he just has a baby grudge and is feeling particularly vengeful about it. Nevertheless, seeds have been planted in Stiles’ mind and they’re beginning to budge. 

He really does trust Parrish. Parrish hasn’t done anything to allude he might even be the slightest bit evil, but maybe Stiles just wants to ease Derek’s mind. They’ve all got enough shit to deal with. Besides, it’s not like he was going to actually sleep tonight anyway. He’s still having issues with that.

So he fires up his laptop and does what he’s good at.

There seems to be nothing that really fits Parrish. For every creature he shares a trait with, there’s also traits he doesn’t share with them at all. It very frustrating.

Really, who was he to think he could figure out what Parrish is in one night, when Lydia, with all her brilliance, still hasn’t figured it out in the week or two she spend. But then again, Lydia might have gotten side-tracked at some points, if the looks she’s been giving the deputy are anything to go by.

Anyhow, Stiles needs more information about the guy himself. So he packs up his stuff and leaves for the station, picking a healthy lunch up for his dad on the way. He could sell it as just being a good son, bringing his dad lunch. His dad would never fall for it, but Parrish might. Case and point, he doesn’t even know how well developed the deputy’s detection skill is.

 

Basically, Stiles gets very up and personal with Parrish. So up and personal, he might as well be Lydia. Or Parrish might as well be Scott. Not in the same scenario, though.

Derek gets kinda jealous, probably and throws baby fits disguised as reasonable arguments. They work on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	24. Shopping Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, pretty sure this is the last thing I've written for TW up until now?
> 
> Anyways, in this one Derek is Stiles' personal dress up doll with an attitude. They have fun.

Its Friday night, and instead of living the teenage American dream, stiles in lounging in dereks loft, waiting on scott to show up so they can negotiate the treaties, now that there is no immediate danger. They really should have done this ealier, but well, setting treaties while bleeding out and in need of immediate care really isn’t the best idea.

His only solace for being stuck with Derek giving him the staredown being the bag of Cheetos he brought with him from home, since Derek doesn’t have cupboards or a fridge, and therefore no food, let alone snacks.

He pops one of them and allows his gaze to travel to Derek. Who has taken his shirt of to make mac n cheese.

‘’You’re such an exhibitionist.’’

Derek, as always, thanks to his freaky werewolf powers, catches his whisper and nearly gives stiles a heart attack when his voice, after an hour of silence, suddenly booms through the room.

‘’I only have three shirts, rather not get them dirty and waste a washing.’’

‘’Are you kidding me?’’ Stiles scoffs, sitting up straight to face him.

This tells stiles two things, one: Derek has an actual, honest to god washing schedule, which is a great thing to know and possibly use for werewolf bingo/trivia.  
Two: 

‘’Millionaire Derek hale only has three shirts?’’

Even stiles has more shirts than that and he only goes shopping twice a year. It used to be once, but somehow his clothes keep getting destroyed lately.

Derek, of course, gives him that look.

‘’Having to chase after and save a bunch of irresponsible teen wolfs whilst trying not to die myself, do you really think I have time to go shopping.’’

Which is understandable, but still so very unacceptable, for multiple reasons. Like how at least three of those teen wolfs were of his own doing and he should take responsibility and-

He’s still thinking up the essay he was going to hit Derek with, but being the rude technology obsessed teenager that he is, his phone beeping with an incoming text distracts him.

‘’It’s Scott, says he can’t make it and he’s sorry, can we reschedule? No explanation whatsoever so he’s probably with Kira.’’

Derek scrunches up his face for a second, giving away how he feels about Scott blowing off something Derek thought was important. And it was, even Stiles showed up. 

Stiles really couldn’t stand the silent intensified brooding and kicked puppy eyebrow sets, so naturally he felt it was his duty to change it.

‘’Alright, that’s it. Shirt on, I’m taking you shopping.’’

He sees derek’s about to object, so he cuts in.

‘’With your money of course, I mean, I’m too poor to pay for more than my own supernatural casualties. Now, put your shirt on before I start making mean girls references.’’

Not losing any time, he throws Derek his shirt and hussles him out of the door. That Derek even allows him to do this says a lot about how much he needs new clothes. Or dislikes mean girls. Whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can totally take this and any fic-idea in this work for your own writing. Please tell me if you did, though, I want to read it.


	25. Magical BFF Necklaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was talking to my friend about it and just...

Alright, so there's a cultural market in town. I don't know if America even has these but work with me.

There's this booth that sells friendship stuff, like necklaces and bracelets and rings and all that. They're cool, they've got little wolves and everything. Honestly, if you'd put these babies up on Etsy they'd go for at least 30 bucks and this lady was selling them for, like, 10.

So they get the bracelets and at first it's all aw sweet, because why would they even suspect the bracelets are hexxed, like, sure magic and weres exist in this universe but they don't know. When you look at a bracelet your first thought isn't going to be, ''Wow, I sure hope this bracelet doesn't have a spell cast on it that makes the wearers remain friends forever.'', unless that happened to you once, maybe. And it had never happened to them, so.

Anyway, Scott loses his, which, not a big deal. They were cheap and only symbolic.

Derek ends up finding the bracelet and since it's a sweet ass bracelet with a wolf on it, which Laura would('ve??) love(d??). He picks it up, puts it on and goes about his day, thinking something's finally going right for him. Like he's been many times before, he's wrong.

Stiles just kind of... shows up at his doorstep. Lets himself in with a 'Hey, dude, cool place'', grabs a soda and plops down on the couch. It feels right, though, so Derek lets it happen and puts on a movie. For them, nothing about their sudden relationship is weird at all. They're just good friends, maybe even best friends.

Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it?

 

ALTERNATIVELY

 

These bracelets are cursed AF. They come with name engraving and stuff, so they're super personal and that's where the curse starts.

Scott loses his bracelet again and yet again, Derek finds it and takes it home.

Stiles shows up, except now he's all, ''Scotty, my man, why are you in this eerie ass cabin in the woods?''.

And Derek is all, ''Who are you and why are you here? Wait, who's Scott?''.

So basically, Stiles wants to get Derek checked out in the hospital for memory loss and Derek wants to take Stiles back to the insane asylum he came from, it's pretty messy.

 

Or IDK, just whatever. I think magic friendship jewelry would meet a sweet meet-cute.


End file.
